Rudolph Reacts
North Pole, Inc. (formerly Claus Enterprises) announced plans today to lay-off approximately 20% of its work force due to corporate downsizing. The Island of Misfit Toys, a subsidiary of North Pole, Inc. was among the plants that were closed.
CEO and Chairman Santa Claus said in a statement, "The resizing of the work force is an effort to streamline our manufacturing processes and explore new options. As an organization, we hate to lose valued employees, but feel a reallocation of resources is necessary at this time."
Shareholders are speculating that the lay-offs came as a result of a recent contract with an Indian company. Outsourcing and machination of manufacturing processes has contributed to the attrition of many American companies over the past several years.
"Isn't it a little weird to be making toys in India for Christmas?!" said an employee who did not wish to be identified. He says his plans to attend dental school in the fall may have made him a target. He plans to sue North Pole, Inc. for discrimination.
Rudolph, once Santa's right-hand reindeer, was also amongst the employees laid off.
"It's just business. I knew once those GPS's came out, my red nose was a thing of the past. It will be hardest for the reindeer that have families, especially around this time of year."
The Abominable Snowman, the former outspoken owner of The Island of Misfit Toys stepped down from his current position of VP of Operations. Amidst great media pressure and swirling rumors, he only said, "ARGGHHHHHHFHHD!"
He then threw a giant icicle.
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